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This happened over 10 years ago but still makes me smile.

I went to a very uppity private school (predominantly caucasian, with extremely wealthy people) for three years in high school. I had attended that school for two years as a ‘day student’ (local kids) where I was known as a pretty good kid – good grades, respectful, etc. I went into their boarding school component for my third year there.

Some context: The boarding school students were susceptible to their own set of rules, one of them being a very strict no theft policy. It was commonplace (at least in my house) for girls to leave their dorms unlocked, as there was a high level of trust amongst everyone.

During my boarding school year, I (16F at the time) flew home over Christmas break and had borrowed my sister’s (14F) bottle of perfume. It was a very distinctive bottle with gems glued onto it, a couple of which had fallen off. I accidentally packed it when I flew back to boarding school. I threw it in my bedside drawer and didn’t give much thought to it – that is until my sister called me a few weeks later and berated me for ‘stealing’ her perfume and demanded I give it back the next time I see her.

So I check the bedside drawer – nowhere to be found. I tear my entire dorm apart, and question all my friends – no sign of it. I eventually accepted the fact I was going to have to buy my sister a replacement bottle, but I KNEW I hadn’t misplaced it and something about the situation didn’t sit right with me.

About a week later, I’m across the hall in my so-called friend “Sophie’s” room (fake name) and I see that very perfume bottle sitting on her nightstand. I immediately recognized it as mine, due to the distinctive missing gems and the amount of perfume that was missing in the bottle. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and very nicely asked her “Oh hey, Soph, did I leave this bottle in your room by chance last week?”. She immediately denied it and claimed that was a bottle given as a gift to her by her mother.

The blood boiled in me as she spewed her BS lie, and I immediately determined I would force her to fess up one way or another. It wasn’t even about the bottle of perfume or needing to return it to my sister anymore – it was the fact that I gave her a chance to give it back without having to admit her lie or cause her any embarrassment, and she still decided to try to get away with stealing from me. Straight up rude, and I’ll make her pay.

So I hatched a plan. I took a permanent marker and wrote my initials on the bottom of every single bottle of perfume that I owned. I waited until I knew Sophie was in class, and banking on the chance that her door would be open (it was) I snuck into her dorm room and wrote my initials on bottom of my sister’s bottle of perfume as well.

I played it cool with Sophie and everyone else, making sure to hang out with Sophie in her room a few times so as not to draw any suspicion. I waited a few days and then reported her to the houseparent. I told the houseparent that I was hanging out in Sophie’s room and thought I noticed my initials in permanent marker on the bottom of the bottle, but I wasn’t sure so I’d like houseparent to go and check. My shpeel went something like this: “Sophie is my friend and I already questioned her about this but she denied everything and I trust her. So I feel super awful for accusing her because I don’t want to accuse her of being a ‘thief’ or a ‘liar’, but…I do know that you guys have a no-tolerance-towards-theft policy, and I do have a feeling that bottle of perfume is mine, so if she did steal it that’s not okay because I just don’t know if I would be able to trust her or anyone else in this house anymore…”‘

Houseparent sticks up for her character but says they’ll look into it. They went to question Sophie in her room later that day and checked the bottom of the perfume bottle (which now has my initials on it). Well, low and behold, Sophie pulls the crocodile tears wailing about how she never meant to steal or lie she was just scared of getting in trouble, yadda yadda…

She got “gated” which was my boarding school’s version of being grounded but intensely worse. I don’t remember all the conditions of being gated, but they included that you can’t leave school property at all, and for the period of time that you are gated you have to sign into your house’s office every hour ON THE DOT between 8am and 11pm unless you’re in class (they seriously reprimand you even if you’re a few minutes late, no matter the reason).

Turns out that school didn’t exactly have a “no tolerance” policy as the houseparent ended up completely falling for her crocodile tears and asked me to keep it a secret so as to protect the student because she was a ‘good girl who ‘just made a mistake’ (she never apologized to me, by the way). But they were obligated to punish her, they never caught me sneaking into her room to plant my initials, and she was forced to cough up to her BS due to my scheming which was incredibly satisfying.

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Credit: petty revenge

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